Living in a box 004/365

I used to live in a box…..

A bit of a strange statement so let me explain……

So for me life has changed a lot in the past 3 months. Rather than go fully in to the why’s and wherefores suffice it to say the change has come from the ending of my marriage and moving into another relationship.

So, I have gone from a long term relationship into something new which has been and continues every day to be full of new experiences.

So what’s any of this got to do with a box?

Well every since we first got together, like in any new relationship, we have talked about everything in one way or another. We have tried to be 100% honest and not hold anything back as we’ve gone along which has not always been successful but we’ve worked through it.

Get to the box already will you!!!

Ok so what I’ve discovered is that in my previous relationship I’ve lived in a rather sheltered world, hence the box metaphor, well not sheltered more ristricted or limited is probally the best term, type of life. In fact the phrase we use to describe my past is “my little box, tucked away on the top self” which kind of speaks for itself I think.

Now I never activley set out to live like this, it just sort of evolved from the things and actions of that relationship which I hold no one to blame for other than myself. I have been a grown man for a while now and could and probally should have done something about it but I chose not to until recently.

Now I have begun to really open up and find who I should have been all that time, Me.
But thinking about this begs me to ask some questions and maybe give a few of my own answers.

1- Why do we change who we are for someone else?
In my case it was the fear of loosing what i thought was going to be the only chance at happiness I would get but in doing so I ended up making myself miserable.

2- Why will some people only accept us if we do change?
Well some people have to have friends and lovers who fit their specifications but what I’ve learnt is that if they don’t like you for who your are, faults and all, then it isn’t really going to work out (see my views on question 1 for the likely outcome) and those are people that will end up causing drama in one shape or another.

3- Why can we not just work, love and be together as who we are?
It’s possible but can be very hard and even painful. Being truly honest is the key as I have discovered and that means all the skeletons in the closet and all the feelings no matter how small have to be expressed so the other person or people know how your feelig and what your thinking – I dare you to try it even for a day and see what happens

Now I don’t know what is going to happen but I know that I no longer live in that box, I am being me for the first time in a lon time and I feel free

Jodster