After a brief interlude – normal service will resume 006/365

First of all I apologise for the lack of postings for my #oneaday – a combination of real life events and a lack of tinterwebs access has curtailed my writings but I am back on track so we continue from 006…..

So what to post about, well I’ve had some random thoughts about this and that but I wanted to talk about rejection. It may be a rather emo subject but it’s been on my mind recently so go with me on this one

Now for well over a month I have been looking for a new job – not to long a time I hear you cry but long enough now that I want to start hearing some good news.

Let me put this in perspective a little.

I am looking to move from my south Wales abode to the Surrey area to start a new life with my girlfriend, so far so good. Now to do this properly and not like some love sick puppy so I need to get a job. Not just any job (bar jobs are out) but something that I can earn a good wage on and really get a frsh start going with. Again so far so sensible cat

Now the problem with this is interviews – arrrggghhhh!! I hate interviews bit most of all I hate the rejection that comes with them and the other aspects of applying for work

1- You apply for a job and never hear anything back – obviously you didn’t get a look in at the role but still a “thanks but no thanks” would be nice and polite

2- the inevitable “Sorry your not the right person” Line – I hate it if the reasons why your not right are never quantified or are to bland for you to believe that’s the real reason why

3- the curve ball negative – this one usually has some sort of left field reason why they don’t want you for the role – the one I’ve had recently is “Sorry but you to experienced for the role” – I mean come on – how can you have to much experience

All in all I hate the amount of no’s you have to go through to get a yes – being rejected over and over can get damn depressing I can tell you

I know and believe that the new job for me is out there somewhere and will work out for me soon….. Bit the sooner the better so o can stop having to hear the rejections

Jodster

Visiting the Embassy 005/365

So today I helped my girlfriend move house. It was rather good fun all in all and has covered all my exercise quota for the next week easily. I met her new landlord who is a rather awesome chap who helped move a lot of the stuff up the two flights of stairs and then joined us for lunch at the local pub to celebrate the move.

Now as part of every move you always find that from one place to the next that your always going to need more shelf space or storage of some sort as every room is different.

Seeing as my girlfriend is Scandiwegian there was only one place we were going to get furniture, it was time to visit the embassy – IKEA!

Now this was only the second time I’ve visited IKEA but I’ve already fallen in love with the place and here’s why

1- it’s laid out in the most practical fashion I can imagine which actually makes wondering round easier rather than harder

2- they have show rooms that actually make sense and are fun to loom through – mini one or two bedroom lay outs that really show off what you can do

3- you can try out almost everything and not get looked at funny like you have you feet up on the furniture even though that’s exactly what your doing

All in all today was a success – I even earned man points for successfully navigating the lanes of shelves and returning with the right book case, in the right colour with any tears or drama – win

Jodster

Living in a box 004/365

I used to live in a box…..

A bit of a strange statement so let me explain……

So for me life has changed a lot in the past 3 months. Rather than go fully in to the why’s and wherefores suffice it to say the change has come from the ending of my marriage and moving into another relationship.

So, I have gone from a long term relationship into something new which has been and continues every day to be full of new experiences.

So what’s any of this got to do with a box?

Well every since we first got together, like in any new relationship, we have talked about everything in one way or another. We have tried to be 100% honest and not hold anything back as we’ve gone along which has not always been successful but we’ve worked through it.

Get to the box already will you!!!

Ok so what I’ve discovered is that in my previous relationship I’ve lived in a rather sheltered world, hence the box metaphor, well not sheltered more ristricted or limited is probally the best term, type of life. In fact the phrase we use to describe my past is “my little box, tucked away on the top self” which kind of speaks for itself I think.

Now I never activley set out to live like this, it just sort of evolved from the things and actions of that relationship which I hold no one to blame for other than myself. I have been a grown man for a while now and could and probally should have done something about it but I chose not to until recently.

Now I have begun to really open up and find who I should have been all that time, Me.
But thinking about this begs me to ask some questions and maybe give a few of my own answers.

1- Why do we change who we are for someone else?
In my case it was the fear of loosing what i thought was going to be the only chance at happiness I would get but in doing so I ended up making myself miserable.

2- Why will some people only accept us if we do change?
Well some people have to have friends and lovers who fit their specifications but what I’ve learnt is that if they don’t like you for who your are, faults and all, then it isn’t really going to work out (see my views on question 1 for the likely outcome) and those are people that will end up causing drama in one shape or another.

3- Why can we not just work, love and be together as who we are?
It’s possible but can be very hard and even painful. Being truly honest is the key as I have discovered and that means all the skeletons in the closet and all the feelings no matter how small have to be expressed so the other person or people know how your feelig and what your thinking – I dare you to try it even for a day and see what happens

Now I don’t know what is going to happen but I know that I no longer live in that box, I am being me for the first time in a lon time and I feel free

Jodster

So who wants to be a superhero 003/365

So at lunch today I was talking with some of the peeps in woek about general pass the day stuff and at some point the conversation turned around to movies. Now I love films, of all genres and origins, whether there big blockbusters or straight to DVD productions with each having it’s own enjoyment factor. Most of all I love hero movies.

Now inevitably the chat came around to which would you want to be. Most of the guys choose to be either Wolverine, Superman or Batman, I on the other hand chose James Bond. this caused more than a few raised eyebrows and the odd look like I had just wafted dog poo under their nose but I stuck to my guns.
I am a huge James Bond fan. I have seen all but one of the released Bond movies ( I just don’t fancy Quantum of Solace at all ) and like most Sean Connery is my Bond – closley followed by Rodger Moore.
I was asked to explain (defend) my choice to the masses so here was what I said

1- Apart from the odd stealth suit or kilt, Bond very rarely wears anything that could be considered a costume to do what he does. No underpants on the outside of tights for this man

2 – He has all the toys – some more mental than others (submarine car) but most are based on real technology rather than radiation poisoning or coming from another world

3 – He always gets a least one girl – no Lois Lane or Mary Jane here, he gets the good girl but not after having the bad girl first

4 – Unless nescersary he is who he is – no sudo names and disguises – when he meets the villan it’s always “Bond, James Bond”

All in all he’s one of the most real heroes out there to me which is why I think he’s been around for so long and will always be around in one way or another

Jodster

Need a Driving lesson? – 002/365

So today has been a day of ups and downs for me. I’m a rather emotional person and coupled with minor depressive sufferings my mood can swing from one direction to another very easily if I’m not careful.

Now being like this effect’s my motivation no end. I have never been lucky like some,  whom are able to blindly plough forward no matter what is going on around them through either shear will or with an ego that can deflect bullets.

Now I have been on the phone this evening with two of the most important people in my life and the subject of motivation came up in both conversations.

I talked about the motivation to improve yourself, be it mentally or physically, the motivation to achieve a task along with the drive to improve those around you and I’ve come up with some general and what might seem rather obvious points but they are poignant none the less

1 – For most things you only need motivation to get started – for example, I found that I only needed the drive to begin running , to get over the initial fears of it, before the natural and addictive high kicked in which has now replaced the need for drive myself off the sofa and do it

2 – You need to find your own motivation before motivating others – Like dogs can smell fear; other people can tell if you’re motivated for something. If you’re asking them to perform or achieve something and you’re not ready or up for it -~ Good Luck

3 – Its far easier to pick fault and ruin than build up and drive someone – There are too many people that can knock something down but not enough that can drive and build something up – if you know someone who can motivate, encourage them, listen to them and take note. It’s a very strong skill to have and can be worth its weight in gold at the right time.

What I’ve taken away form the conversations I’ve had is that I can motivate others to act but I need some lessons in driving myself along with some support at times and in my honest opinion that’s the right balance

Jodster

Joining the #oneaday crew – 001 of 365

So here is my first #oneaday post and just like my first blog I find myself trying to decide what to write about….

Listening to the radio on the way home from work I was struck by a comment made by a fictional character which rang true to me – You don’t hear the sound of children playing much anymore.

I’ve recently taken up running as part of a weight loss/change my lifestyle move (it’s going well btw I’ve lost 30lbs in just under 10 weeks) and my running takes me through the local park which is totally devoid of children.

Now I’m not as old as some but not as young as others yet I can still remember a time when I was growing up that the local park would have kids like me playing there till 8pm or even 9pm at night in the summer. Now as I run I see the swings and other things lay empty with only the odd group of teens gathering around to either drink cheap ass cider or damage thoose swings that no one is using.
I tried the whole cider drinking on a street conrner when I was in comprehensive – never did anything for me and I think that after the first night I never bothered with it again as there was no point it in my eyes.

I can understand that there is a lot of fear nowadays – fear that there might be a peodophile or some other monster lurking to snatch away the kids or the fear that the little darlings will fall into the wrong crowd and end up strung out on drugs but to behonest I think that people need to look to home before worrying what could be out there.

I really believe that it has become easier to sit little johnny down infront of a ps3 and let him mash away on a controller than e courage him to go out and god forbid that the parents even go out with him and make something of it.

If there is fear of something then we should face it rather than take the easy route out – there should be more done to foster the sense of community that has been lost….only then will we really hear the sounds of children playing on the streets again

Jodster

To Blog or not to Blog…..

So after some persuading and counter arguing from my loving girlfriend that I do have more to say each day than here’s what I did at work I thought I’d brave the digital blogosphere and give this a go…. …but what topic do I choose for my first thoughts? Well I have not long got back (12.30am this morning) from a rather long and lonely 170 mile drive going from Guildford to Swansea and having a long time with only yourself as company can be an enlightening or rather tedious time. In this case it was the latter for most of the trip as I found myself looking over and missing the person that should be sitting next to me or at least thinking I should be driving to them not away from them. I thought to myself that driving in one form or another is a rather good metaphor for life in general.

1 – Your constantly moving – from once place to another at fast or slow speeds you are always doing something

2 – Your never alone – a lot of the time you are with friends or family which makes things more entertaining or in some cases you have your other friends blasting through the speakers singing about sex drug and rock ‘n’ roll

3 – You have a destination – a journey always has a point, whether you’re going some where you want or away from somewhere you would rather be.

There are also other similarities that come across when I think about other motorists but I’ll save that for another day

So to blog or not to blog….well it seems that I can so I will and I shall also take up the #oneaday challenge that My office Paladin @ http://ellajensen.com/ has set which shall begin today

Jodster